Summer pt. 3

Continued with job search and interviews:

Dakota interview moved to next week (schedule conflict with Principal).
Updated profile on Rockford Public Schools.
Sent a few more on-line applications.

Thursday- morning interview at Barrington was a bust, as I am not qualified to teach honors Spanish. One would think that they would actually look at my application, where it states 'proficient,' not fluent. Then again, I did not ask for details, as there is no job description with the on-line posting. Interview went well, until I stated that I felt that I did not meet the needs of the job. The Chair was a bit rude.
Afternoon at Fremeont Middle School in Mundelien (since I had time to spare, lunch at Applebe's and found an area rug at TJMax Home Store). Interview was short, but I believe it went well. A number of applicants waiting in the office; interview began nearly 30 minutes after scheduled appointment. We shall see.

Friday- Job Fair for Chicago Public Schools at Cellular Field (Sox Stadium). Cattle call to say the least. Very overwhelming, very confusing. Spent most of the time waiting in lines, with only three 'meetings' (not interview) in 2.5 hours. Spoke with a number of other teachers though, and gained a bit of insight: send packets direct to the Principals, as they are the ones who hire. The district's role is more of a facilitator, rather than ruler. I do not expect much.

Nothing much otherwise. Getting pretty tired of my schedule the past couple of weeks. Other than my interview at Dakota, I am not going to do much in that direction for the next week or so. I need a break and will work on the yard, which is ironic to be preferable to other things..... I think one of my 'cycles' is about to start: life organization, an after affect of periods of uncertainty/ unhappiness. Still, procrastination looms and I fear the 'missed opportunities' with taking a step back from the job search. I just need a break.

Summer pt. 2

Busy with interviews, but no offers thus far:

Tuesday- Wilkins Jr. High, Justice, IL, Spanish and social studies position, full-time - I believe the interview went well, at least at first. The principal used "you will be..." during the first part of the interview, but later used "if you are selected..." when I corrected him on my employment at Flinn. He thought I was full-time, whereas I was only part-time. Positive: Rigorous academic program; national model school district (one of two in the state); lots of incentives, including in-house professional development and a $1500 technology credit. Negative: salary, 34G; two-year mentor program; community. Post-war industrial, smells like the city (industry).
Canceled interview at Glenview due to traffic.

Wednesday- Homewood Flossmoor High School, Flossmoor, IL, Art Fundamentals, .6 position- Did not care for scenario-based interview process, but went well. Music teacher is chair of fine arts department. Interviewed with art department faculty as well. Positive: acclaimed school at state and national level and would be honor to work at such a school. Negative: reviews of school mentioned safety issues; distance; interview with art faculty as bit snobby and obvious competitive nature; part-time position, 25G.

Thursday- Nequa Valley High School, Naperville, IL, Spanish, .6 position- Beautiful school, nice people. Thought interview went very well, even though call night before to prepare a 45-minute lesson plan (worked at TBG, up until 4am). Faltered a bit, or more than a bit, with my Spanish during my conversation with the Spanish department faculty, but explained that I really have no opportunity to use it. I believe the chair of the department was impressed with me, but who knows. Positive: area (money); rigorous academics; faculty Negative: set curriculum; departments very big; student population may be too big (4000+); part-time position, 22G.

Next week, interview scheduled with Dakota High School (about an hour west) on Wednesday and the Chicago Public School teacher fair on Friday. Possible interviews in Barrington and Mundelein.

I hope to hear from somebody soon.... positive or negative.

Communicator out again with RPS and see the same jobs as before. I just do not understand why these principals do not call me. Hesitant to apply again, but probably will.

Otherwise, NOTHING much else is getting done.

Summer, pt. 1

Thus far, my summer has been spent, for the most part, finding a job- credential packets sent out, online applications, a couple of interviews set up.
Next week, interviews at Homewood-Flossmoor HS for a 3/5 art position (12th in the state, 689 in the nation) and a full-time Spanish/ social studied position at Wilkins Jr. High in Justice, IL. If offered, both will require a move (South Chicago suburbs- two hour drive from Rockford). David seems to be less-than enthused, but nothing has panned out here so far and I am tired of waiting. I am leaning towards the HS position, even though it is only part time, because of the nationally acclaimed status.
Chicago Public Schools job fair on the 29th.
I need to get portfolio updated.

With the time spent looking for a job, nothing much has received my attention. Have not been to the gym much, gardens are a mess..... procrastination and hesitation (due to the unknown) is a part of it, and then my obsessive-task nature.

Nature seems to play a large role in my life- there is an innate nature of being that I seem to gravitate to: procrastination, conflict, uncertainty, unhappiness. For years it has been the same struggle..... Eventually, it takes it's toll.
Meeting next week with a psychiatrist, recommended by Goldstein, to get on some sort of mood stabilizer (along with the chantix- quit smoking again).

We will see how the next couple of weeks work out.

School is OUT

End of year finished with mixed emotions.

Looking forward to summer; still working on schedule. I know what I need to do, it is just doing it. First day out does not look so well (procrastination).... Too much on my plate.

Stupid Game

End of the school year...... Friday was the last full day: classes in the morning, activities in the afternoon. After lunch I finished cleaning out my room, packed up the car, and began final grades. Instituted day on Monday, with a staff grill-out. Tuesday, just a couple of hours. And then that's it- end of my first year of teaching.
Success or failure?.... Yet to see if I am hired back (social studies position open), but I get the feeling I will not. Who knows.
Another hiring round in the district. Not much offered, really, and a bit upset that there are jobs listed from the previous round that I applied for. Makes me wonder if Rundall received any calls- and what did he say, and what may be in my file downtown.
So, it looks like I may be looking for a job this summer. Not a very happy prospect.

So, once school is out, what is the plan?
I believe it revolves around my internal conflicts of self-worth-
Job is priority. I hate the thought of a late-summer hire, but this may be the case, and I may have to commute.... David said something about the house- not being able to buy new things (used and reconditioned has been the general par) and how he is waiting for me to find a job.... Perhaps there is a move in the cards.
Gardens must be attended to. Phase one, cleaning out and weeding, is not finished. Plus, I still have seeds. Rabbits are becoming a bit of a problem (eating plants). Question of "slimming" it all down continues to circle my mind, but, if anything, the gardens have a nice footprint in the yard (public and private spaces).... The transplanted peonies, from Peggy, look nice, although not all of them bloomed.... I need to rethink the plan- which takes money and reverts back to needing a job.
House needs attention, if not desperate attention.... I concur with David. We need new things. We need to finish this house, if for us or for sale. This house may never be what it should/ could be.... Again, reverts to the need of a job.
David and I.... things are the same. His statement of our relationship as a "mature love" may have some weight. There is loyalty, commitment, companionship, and comfort (all to varying degrees). I just wish we were 'happy,' whatever that is supposed to be.
Gym, another need for desperate attention. This is more about procrastination and time management, although desire plays a big part (comes and goes).... And then there is the psychological- I know I feel better when I go to the gym regularly, but do I deserve to feel better? The whole self-image factor can be summed-up here.... I just feel old and tired.
TBG, which is not desirable, but it is a job and I need a job. I really do not like waiting tables anymore, but it is quick cash.... Need to figure out my summer schedule.

Playing the love-hate game..... that which I need to do v. that which I want to do.
In the end, resentment overrides any accomplishment. If I get what I want, I feel that I do not deserve it; whereas if I don't get it, I know I don't.