Another Wasted Day

Horrible day yesterday.
Did nothing; sat in front of TV all day.
Today looks to be the same.

Internal conflicts and more conflicts. I can't really remember the last time I went though this cycle.

Took a nap around 3pm- for over five hours. Really bad. Up after 8, then back to bed before midnight.

This morning, woke up late (9), and then went to gym- but only 30 minute aerobics. Something is definitely up.

Today is supposed to be a bit warmer than yesterday; tomorrow is supposed to be hot, and the next hotter still. If I blow off today, the remainder of the week has to be garden (rain over the weekend).

I believe part of the problem is having too much to do (full plate). I really only have to answer to myself, so I do not know what the issue is. Probably because I keep lowering my standard/ expectation. I try to keep myself going by stating that some work is better than no work.
Another part is the size of the projects. In some ways, I take it as punishment for not taking care of things in a timely manner. Things that could have taken just a bit of time to maintain, have now become projects.
And then there is the "if I only had...." way of thinking. Instead of doing whatever I need to do, I argue that I need something to fulfill the task. Money is tight, so I really can not go out and buy things.

Finally, I believe I am stalling.
The conflicts are polarizing, leading to more conflict, and too much conflict leads to nothing being done/ avoiding the task at hand.

I can make lists and more lists, wasting more time. Organizing is not an issue, it is the follow-though, sadly, that is.

I already have my big list- which is fine the way it is; I do not need another one. I have to focus on time management, as soon my time will have to be directed to preparing for the school year.

Goal 1
On nice days, my focus has to be the yard. The goal is to finish the gardens before 10 Aug (if not sooner).
What I have accomplished (happy with): parking space bed, tree bed by path.
What is part finished: back west bed, big west bed, entry path bed.
What needs to begin: all east beds, beds close to the house.
This is very much time sensitive- I only have so much time before school begins. I do not want to be working in the gardens in the fall.

Goal 2
On other days, or if I am not going to work in the yard (procrastination), my focus has to be indoors.
All I've really done are my computer projects (cleaning out).
I have soooooo much to do!
Here, I believe the "if I only had" conflict really plays out. In addition, there is so much other work to be done with the house (fix, repair, paint, finish, etc.) that it difficult to see a room really finished.

Goal 3
I have to prepare for classes.
I've read a few books on my list, taken some idea notes, so now I have to get things done.
I have to get my room together, which I do not anticipate will be too much work. Displays will take some time though.
I have to get the info paperwork together, the first two weeks of lessons (mainly procedures), and then the first two weeks of text lessons (when we "officially" have the new text- not as of yet).
Along with school stuff, I have to keep an eye on my portfolio- I have to update and prepare to show.

I think that is plenty to think about now.

So what about today? It's nearly 1:30; I will start at 2.
Obviously, the garden is out.
Perhaps I will tackle the guest room (my dressing room).... I WILL TACKLE THE GUEST ROOM today.