On-Off (again)

I just do not know what it is....
Perhaps, once again, there is just too much on my plate of things to do which creates a particular level of unfounded procrastination.

It stresses me out, confronted with my inability to follow-through.
Some things are time/ season -sensitive.... I have to get this stuff done.
I feel guilty because I continue to lower my standards. How can I expect others to follow, when I have issues with my own direction?

Yesterday, I was in the yard for about six hours working on the west bed. The bed is still not finished; probably a few more days to get it done.
I felt good, a sense of accomplishment. I will feel better when the bed is done.

Today, hot and humid; rain in the forecast for later today and for the next couple of days.
It's not too bad to work, but I'm not moving towards the goal- I did not go the gym either.
I really don't get it.

Although I feel that I have accomplished some things, I feel that I have not accomplished enough.
I keep having these "lazy days," where not much/ sometimes nothing gets done.
What is up?
Whatever it is, it has to stop.

Honestly, I believe it is all about my "devil's advocate" thinking of opposing sides (conflict). Examples:

Conflict with the house and yard.
I like the house. I like having a big yard.
But, there is financial strain, leading to discussions to sell.
So, why put forth the effort (if will belong to someone else)?

Conflict with career.
I enjoy my teaching position. I believe I have/ have had numerous opportunities in this district that I would not have in others.
Still, there are a number of issues (financial, insurance, costs, etc.) that hinder long-term consideration.
I stay for the experiences, knowing there will be an exit (perhaps end of this school year).... and I feel bad.

Among other conflicts.

So for today, not sure what I will do. Maybe errands, pay bills, cleaning projects. Who knows.