Not such a good week.

No. 1
Sooner or later.... First argument about Spain. David found JC's and Ana's address in my computer bag after he noticed that I did not check 'monogamous relationship' on my Realjock profile. I did not know that he knew about the profile, but I should have assumed; not checking the relationship status was an oversight (updated in December). Deleted profile, of course, and have to assume he has search the internet for any remnants. (Old profiles lingering somewhere? Who knows.)
Well, the solution to calm any fears was for him to come with me to Spain or for me to drop. For him to go it was around $4500; Cheryl was less-than-enthused about taking over the trip (and opened up another can of worms). There is no money for him to travel, and then there are his medical issues and the dogs. Cheryl told me that she will not take over the trip.
In the end, taking students abroad will look good on my resume- so I am going. We agreed to drop it. I do not think he is completely happy about it, but it will do.

I know I have not been a complete angel. But what can you do. Life is what it is sometimes.
Conflict of reality and fantasy. What life is is not always what I wish it to be/ what I believe it should be.

No. 2
This lead to money issues, specifically the house. We need to fix the house/ sell the house; we need to downsize and stop hemorrhaging money. With the current market, we can probably find a cheap condo, move in, fix this house (without worry of David's allergies), and then sell it/ rent it out. It will be a lot of work and a lot of money- but it will have to do.
Still, David still does not have any sort of 'plan' for his life.

Nos. 3, 4, 5 & 6
Issues at school (besides the trip).
First, threatening messages found in the bathrooms, so we are now on permanent 'soft lockdown' (no passes/ unescorted students). Homeroom students just off-the-beam and I am tired of explaining that I can not allow students to leave the room to go to the bathroom or locker. Arguments and more arguments.
I have a study hall first hour this semester. Of course, a few students are always screw it up for everyone else.
One of my students returned from an extended vacation- gone a month. I can not believe the district allows this to be 'excused.' She did not do what I asked her to do over the vacation; is not doing what I've asked her to do now.
Our last FLIC meeting was a nightmare. I think it is time to cut it.

No. 7
Fat, fat, fat. Going to the gym every morning, but weight not changing much- get myself going by self-hatred thoughts. Negative. Negative. Still, I can not get myself to go over the weekends.

No. 8
Grandma in the hospital with pnomnia and now diagnosed with diabeties. She seems OK. Mom is going next week.

So a lot on my plate this week and a ton to do this weekend.
I assume issues will continue next week- what joy.

Second semester begins...

The extra two days of first semester (due to snow days) worked to a few students' advantage as they turned in his/her late work. Still, there were those that did not take advantage of the extra days.

For the most part, the semester ended as expected: 5th hour on top (although slipping) and my HS class far below. A handful of drops, but as expected, really. I did ask that a few not be dropped, as they are showing improvement (although still failing). Some still around, whereas they really should not be. I assume the parent refused the drop.

Began immersion process- teaching nearly all in Spanish. Obviously some students enjoy it, while others, particularly those that did not work during the first semester, seem a bit lost and wait for translations (as need, but limited).

For the weekend, I have to redo/ reorganize lesson plans. Tuesday, I went in somewhat blind and wrote out quick plans for the week (copy/pasted and changed plans I wrote over break). Week ended fine, although a bit out-of-order.

Viajero meeting Friday- leaving in 5 months. Again, most travelers and parents not showing up. Our next meeting in March, but I need passports in February. I will have to call home, I guess.

Tattoo meeting Monday with Tim (finally). Going to work on other arm to finish the triptych (archer) in April. He thinks that he might be moving, to Minnesota, so I do not know if we will finish the sleeve/ when we will finish the sleeve. Archer arm will be Arabic design, with motifs from the Alhambra. Ben will probably do the tile-design work.

Otherwise, OK.
Schedule still somewhat not going so well.
I need to get to the gym in the afternoons. My weight is swelling again; I feel the heaviness.

Things to do. Things to do.

Sunday

Getting work done, but still a bit lazy. Energy comes and goes and I seem to get side-tracked here and there. Still more things to do.
Today is Sunday, with a list of things to do (and feeling a bit lazy).
Tomorrow, car does in for routine service, then to Chicago to Deluxe to discuss next part(s), then lunch with Mom.... and the long-long weekend is over.

The semester has been extended through Wednesday due to the days off. I have already posted grades, but I am sure there will be some adjustments.

No Classes (again)

School called off today due to freezing temperatures. It is really cold, dangerously cold. Currently it is (-)14, with wind chills at (-)29. Tonight is supposed to be record-breaking cold, and more of the same tomorrow. So, I anticipate no school again.

It is very cold- fingers chill when I go out for a smoke. Frostbite warnings on the news for any exposed skin over 10-minutes.
I need to get out and shovel. I will have to do it in short bursts.

My students finished their exams. Good and bad, which is always anticipated. Of course, 5th hour on top and my HS class on the bottom. It will be an interesting couple of weeks into the 2nd semester- students dropping.

I have plenty to do with these days off- and Monday (MLK Day) for a five-day weekend: Costa Rica proposal; summer school proposal; review/ update plans; posting grades; things around the house and errands; hearing aid issues (applying for medicaid); etc. I started painting again over break and have a canvas to work on. I also want to update my portfolio. These days will not be wasted.

Always, I have things to do. The question is what I will do and not do- and then the inner-confrontation afterwords. It is all about the desire v. need. Ironic how I play the same argument against my students: They have to want to learn Spanish to be successful with the language.

For today... slept until 7:30.
Getting a TTD list together.
Probably putz around the house with projects and other things.

Tomorrow.
Probably more of the same. Too cold to go out and about.
Clean the car.
Pay day; pay bills.

For the weekend and Monday:
Windshield replaced; cracked yesterday on drive home. Probably a combination of a previous rock pin-hole and heat v. cold.
Whole foods with Sara and bi-weekly errands.
On Monday, I am going to Chicago to Deluxe to plan out the sleeve (Tim) and other arm (Ben) and seeing Mom.

So, busy, busy, as usual.

Obama take office next week; inauguration on the 20th.
Seems to be a huge event- four days (pre-inauguration events begin on the 17th). I believe it is warranted, as this is something quite historic. Still, with the state of the national economy, perhaps something low-key would have been more appropriate- better P.R. in my opinion.
I hope he is true to his word and promotes a 'change' in the way the government runs itself. Thus far, I hear a lot of hope- but nothing much else. After his meeting with former presidents, perhaps he realized that there is not much that can be changed with the D.C. political machine with damage, as it seems that his recent words are more in tune with usual policy.
David is already complaining..... not something I wish to hear. I want to hear what he has to say at his inauguration and then see what he proposes and accomplishes in his first 90-days before making judgment.

Sex

Friday.
I think the last was at the beginning of break, but an actual f* has been a long, long time. A couple of years (?).
Good/ bad. Somewhat out-of-sync; it has been awhile.

Yesterday, David wanted to talk about it.
I had said before (post-Spain arguments) that our relationship was not at that particular place anymore; sex was not important, nor an obligation.
I felt like he was kind of throwing this statement back at me.... I asked if he was complaining. He said , "no."

Otherwise....
Last week of the semester- hurrah!
School year 1/2 over.
Exams. It's going to be good or bad- it will depend on the students. Did they study or not? It is all multiple-choice, so it should be easy. But,who knows.
And then we begin unit 3- Puerto Rico.
Fiesta Feb 20 +/- (salsas and video).

Busy day yesterday: gym, shovel, glasses, laundry, clean house.
Today, somewhat lazy with a list of things to do (but not too bad). Tired. Skipped the gym.
Not too bad of a week ahead, really. Let's see how it goes.

1st week after break

Good; bad.... it is always such and in between.
It was a week of review, which I thought would be an easy week; alas, no. Students not prepared, not scoring well on the in-class activities (mini-quiz), and just not at the level I expected. Still, it was the first week back after break.
In any event, either they will do well or not on the exams- JHS Monday and Tuesday (may go into Wednesday); HS Wednesday (extended hour).

Costa Rica trip declined, but I do not think the HS principal really looked at it. He thought the trip was for this Spring Break, not next. I guess there are annual trips during that time with the Theater Dept. and Music Dept. I can resubmit. I am thinking about changing the trip- tour and/or company leading.

Hearing appointment last Monday. Of course, a bit more decline, which I expected. My hearing aids are too old to service now (12 years?), so I need a new pair at around 7G. Meeting with IL Disability Services on Monday to see about getting some financial assistance.

Gym every morning this past week. A bit of a struggle, but working. I have to get the afternoon workouts in this week (Tuesday and Thursday only). I see a bit of a 'chunk', but not necessarily over-weight (around 200). We shall see.

Glenview looking for Spanish and Art teachers for next year. I need to get my portfolio together. Would I take it? I do not know. Depends on a lot of things.

Otherwise, busy weekend, once again, although I finished plans during the break.
Snow.

School resumes tomorrow....

Excited to get back to school; back to a schedule.
I find that when I have things to do (a schedule), I am more productive with other things, not to mention a more-pleasant person. Otherwise, I find myself sitting around in a drab mood, not wanting to do much of anything.

Still, I am anticipating a few problems, perhaps. I don't know. I just have that 'feeling' that something is going to go awry.

Last day.... getting things ready for week ahead and back into routines.

For the New Year?

Health/ Physical
Well, I returned to the gym. This is going to be a priority this year. Come hell-or-high water, I am going to stick with it.
Paying more attention to what I eat.
No, I am not going to quit smoking. Something just not worth the inner-conflict right now. Yes, I know it is bad, and yes, I know, I know.
I am going to try to get back into a day and night routine (skin, teeth, etc). It will be hard at first, but eventually will work itself out.
Appointments already for dentist, ears, eyes, skin. I am way past-due for a hearing test and eye exam. Dentist in March, possible bleaching again, but probably not this year. Dermatologist appointment to mainly talk about hair. I returned to using Rogain, but I do not know if it is working or not (maybe a little). I need his opinion.
I should find a regular doctor; also, therapist.
Also, appointment at Deluxe for more ink.

Career
Updating my portfolio. I really think I need to get in with a suburban district. Not that I do not like my job and school, but, over-thinking during break, I really have issue with the district community politics. At least, I should see what is out there and what options I have.
Honestly, as long as gas prices stay low, I am OK with the salary. It is not great, but not horrible- whereas, the insurance is something else. It would be very nice to make 40G a year, but what will the other costs be?
Also, see about getting Master's degree. I am leaning towards linguistics. Still, I owe a lot of money on school loans, so I do not know if this is realistic. Rockford does not offer a linguistics program. I will look at Northern and other IL state schools.

Relationships
David and I have been OK, actually better than OK, lately. Sex is still far and few, but it will be what it will be. My libido is just not there anymore.
I am going to try to be nicer to David's family. I think the divide is deep though and may turn out to only be a gesture.
I am going to call my family more often and see them more often. It has been two years since I've seen Dad and Grandma. Mom, I see every few months; Adam, a bit longer in between.
I am going to try to get Grandma to move here.

Financials
Savings is OK, but not great. I need to be habitual and put money away every check- even if only $50. I've been trying to do 10% on the first check of the month, but, at times, I find that I pull it back out before the next check.
After $1000, which is my goal this year, $500 to go into another investment scheme.

Home
Get this place done!
Fix what needs to be fixed; Update what need to be updated; Clean out and organize.

Other things for 2009...
Spain in June. Something to look forward to, but also something a bit nerve racking: finally, a return to Sevilla (excited); overseas trip with students (nervous); potential conflict 'conversation' with David (very nervous).

Sadly, Candi will probably not finish the year. Maybe she will, but slowly, I believe, she is loosing the battle with age. She still wags her tail and is alert. I hope she will pass in her sleep. Otherwise, it will be a mess.

And I don't really know what else.
I found the 'goals' and 'reinvention' books, but I have not looked at them yet.
I began painting again. Been a long time for that. I do not expect much from the first few, but we shall see.

Otherwise,
things to do.
Things to do.