Back to work

Slept nearly 11 hours last night- crashed on the sofa and up before 6.  Definitely needed it; been a rough week.

First of all, I think I've hit "burn out" at work.

I find myself a bit mean with students, really unsympathetic with those that have not demonstrated any desire or work ethic.  They want to raise their grade and I am not offering anything; "study for the test", and that is about it.  I remind them that they have half the year to turn their grade around, but sadly, most of those asking will not.  In class, I am generally going through the motions- not really enthusiastic; doing what I have to do and that is about it.

I am also having rounds with Martha.  After submitting my curriculum plan, we are now supposed to meet for a half-day to organize a K-12 plan.  If there is no grade school plan nor high school plan, I know this meeting will not be productive, so I've opted out (because there are no plans).  Now the meeting is mandatory and I am still kicking and screaming.  If I have to go, I guess I'll have to.  Won't be a happy day.

I've begun a new resume and organizing portfolio materials.

Second, David and I are on edge.

I'm sure part of it is a carry-over from work.  Pretty much in a bad mood, tired, cranky when I return home.

There is also the issue of the house projects.  Been a long time and still hanging around the finish line.  Bathrooms not 100% yet (still waiting for Nate, electrician, plumber).

But then there is something else.  He is looking for recognition, and I am not giving it.  I can, and I know I should, but I'm not.  What is that about?

Finally, I'm feeling a bit tired of life.

It is the combination of work and David, but then also my own reflections upon my life.

What is happiness, really?
What do I want to do?
Why am I such a procrastinator?
What is the feeling of being "complete"?
How many regrets/ failures am I just going to accept?

Mind is churning, obviously.
Going to be an interesting time.