Sunday

Finished up grading and lessons yesterday (pretty much all I did), so today is housework day.

Dad and Jennifer visiting in July.... so much to do.

Quite the week.

Monday- off
Tuesday- Serious catch-up.
Wednesday- Possible drunk/ hung over teacher at CSM; posturing-parent meeting
Thursday- Way-off day (due to meeting); Finally spoke to Nick about concerns.
Friday- Less-off, but not fully together; Meeting at central office about teacher (Wed).

Still not together, but better.

Parent meeting went OK, but mother was posturing and somewhat intimidating/ bullying (she is an attorney).  Glad I had another staff member there.
Mother was right on many points, but blamed me for the short-comings of her children in my class (lazy, disorganized, not engaged).
Will do what I have to do to fix things, but cannot do every thing she asked for- just no time and children do not know enough Spanish.

Keep drawing lines in the sand and then stepping over them and redrawing.
Goes back and back and back.
Eventually, I'm going to run out of sand.

The fact that I am unhappy in many areas of life is frightening.
What is more frightening is that I am not doing much to fix it.
I take the reactionary passive-aggressive stance, instead of proactive.
What the hell am I doing?

Monday-off

Slept a bit later than anticipated.
Still "foggy" from being sick (still sick).

Got quite a bit done yesterday, need to finish up today.
Grading-grades-lessons to start, then things around here (cleaning).

Contractor?
Not sure if he's coming today or not for the ceiling and trim.
(If he does- just adds more to my list).

Money, money, money....  issues are beginning.
The momentum is slowing.
I wonder if Aunt J is going to send another $.  (crossing my fingers).

Sunday

Thus far, not a very productive weekend:

Friday- nothin'
Saturday- mainly nothin'

Still a bit sick (cold started Monday), which is making me very tired (and moody), but really no excuse.
Had great expectations to get things done, and not stepping up to the challenge.

Today will be busy.
As will tomorrow (day off).

Still, the plate is too full.

Three-day weekend

Took personal day for Monday.
(First time ever- which says something about this year.)
Another one scheduled for 14 May.
Not sure if I have to "pay" for them ($85), but nevertheless, I'm hoping the time will be worth it.

Long list of TTDs this weekend.
Gonna get things done- or die trying.

Sunday

Feeling a bit better, but still "off".

House is such a pit.
Dusty, disorganized, etc.
Half-completed projects.
Couple of weeks since it all got a good scrub.
Maybe today.

Yard work and mowed yesterday.
Tackled a couple of areas for weeds.

Need to get lessons done and clean.
Mom might stop by.

They posted the social studies position at CS.

Signed up for grad school- Concordia.  Two-year program for Type 75.
Maybe doctorate after that.

Otherwise, still "blah".
Seven weeks of school left.... gotta get moving!

Mood

Hit sometime yesterday:
Drawing too many lines in the sand and then retreating.

David and I are on two different pages, and I'm beginning to think, perhaps, two completely different books.
Growing tired of living life "alone".
Different schedules; different desires; different goals.

Hate my job.
But hate it more that I am (really) not doing anything about it.

Final push...

Last day of break.
Accomplished a lot, but not everything on the list.
Procrastination was an issue, mainly, not being able to kick into gear at the start.
Still, a lot done.

Yesterday, planted the fruit trees, and that was pretty much it.
Sara over for a bit, planning the vegetable garden- she makes it all so complicated.

Today, catching up with odds and ends and work stuff.
But first, a shower, since somehow I skipped that yesterday.

Easter

Finished up first coats in dining room/ library and front room.
Got a late start (procrastinating), so not as much done as I wanted to.
After getting ceilings done, I'll put on second coats.
So much still to do!
Chris, new contractor, stopped by yesterday to take a look at job for new floor moldings and ceiling repair.

David has yet to move on the bedrooms.
Getting aggravating, but just leaving it alone.
Eventually, I will just do it, but not today.

Yard work today.
New fruit trees came in- so going to plant today (can't wait for landscaper).
Crimson has two fruit trees on their agenda for me, so that will make nine, with one space left over.
They also have some cleanup to do.
Weeding and edging today as well.
Sara might stop by so we can plan the veggie garden.

Otherwise, feeling OK.

Saturday

Final few days of spring break....
My TTD list is still a bit too long for comfort, but some things have been accomplished.
Been pretty much productive, minus two days.

Today- a few "payday" items and finish up painting (as much as can be done).
Tomorrow- yard work day.
Monday- prep for school (grading, lessons) and cleaning.

Getting used to not having Eva around- been 48 hours.
No tears thus far today.
David seems to be OK as well.

Gym schedule has faltered a bit.
Been going during break, but focus is lacking.

Things to do; things to do.

Good Friday, very quiet.

Quiet around here.

When we put Eva down, we did not stay like we did with Candi.
I kissed her good bye and left the room before they administered the muscle relaxer.
David peeked in and said she curled up like she was sleeping- I couldn't look.
We left before they put her down.

I know we did the right thing.  It was obvious she was having breathing issues.
I don't think she was able to sleep more than 10-15 minutes at a time before she would wake gasping for breath.
I am rationalizing that it was better to do it a day too early rather than a day too late.
I hope we did not keep her in any pain by keeping her around longer than we should have.
I hope she was able to relax and was not frightened.
I hope she understood that we loved her and will miss her.

David's routine is broken a bit.
Not sure how he is really coping.
He was there at her beginning (birthed her) and end.  Must be a very emotional thing.

I have my moments.
Tears come and go- not a big sob (unlike Candi, where I was more of a mess).

It will be a little while before the sense normalcy returns.
(Rather, a new normalcy without pets.)

Jueves Santo

Today looks like it is the day.

Holy Thursday is the day of the Last Supper, where Christ bid farewell.
An appropriate day as any.

Appt at 4:30.
Gonna be lonely around here.

Wednesday

A bit of sunburn from working in the yard all day yesterday (top of head).
Front is cleaned up and edged and path clean of mulch.
Area around back deck is done.

Indoor projects today- painting.

Sadly, Eva is on her last days.
A bit of a break down yesterday, but better today.

Tuesday, day 4

Mowed yesterday, and then some painting.

Debating inside or outside projects today.
So many weeds- need to get that done.
David still not done (even really started) with things he said he'd do, so painting is stalled.  Still enough little pain jobs to keep me busy.

Mom might come up today.

Guess it will be a yard work day.

Sunday, Day 2 of break

Second part of hall painted yesterday.
Dark (wall going into new dining/ library area), and a bit more green than anticipated.  Looks good, but now lighter color looks a bit off.  Planning to paint back wall the "medium" shade, which will hopefully add continuity to the space.

A little round with David- the bedroom is not cleaned out.
Trying to decide if this is the "line" or not, as he has had plenty of time to get it done.
Playing both sides in my head.

Back to gym this morning for a double workout, as skipped yesterday.
Feel better (yesterday, I was definitely dragging), but a bit too much going on in my head.

Soggy outside, so inside projects today (painting).