Last week of school coming up.
Looking forward to the end; probably the first time I'm looking forward to the summer break.
Two days after the last student day, I'll be done.
Evaluation was "proficient" overall.
Some short-falls, but they were expected.
A few excellents- so it balances.
Guess I will not be getting my tenure in two years- but I knew that.
Feeling that life is at an impasse.
A lot in the in between.
David and I are a bit on edge.
Shortness.
Parenting conflicts.
Life issues.
Went to see the Egan house- back on the market.
Thinking it is a no-go.
Just too much work to be done. Financially, just might be too much.
Been going to therapy to sort things out.
Went to the in-house psychiatrist, and no meds.
He thinks my state is more "mid-life" than anything else.
He does not see the long term; believes it is situational.
Not sure where all of this is going to lead.
24.5.15
3.5.15
OMG its May already- 1 month to go.
Excited for the end of the school year because it is the end of the school year.
Seems like another rough ending (but I have the position for next year).
One rough year of nine is not bad, and something I shared with admins after a "conversation" meeting at which it was stated that "you're not the same as you were two years ago", referring to how I have dealt with problematic issues. The school culture has changes and students are purposely mean and rude to adults and to other students. I really don't understand it- why students are behaving the way they are AND how everybody recognizes it, but there has not been any big initiative to change it (force a change).... My metaphor: You have strawberries and a kid allergic that keeps eating it- instead of dealing with the choices the kid makes, we are trying to change the strawberry.
Maybe I had a rose-colored nostalgic view.
Maybe going back was a mistake.
I am not going to let it ruin my career.
There is a position open in Byron.... hmmm.
I don't want to make another job change.
Nevertheless, I'm trying to just get through to the end- smiles, smiles, smiles- and curbing my reactions.
Last day for students, May 29.
For teachers, June 02.
Trey gets out the Friday after.
Biweekly therapy for a few months now.
Discussing medication- chronic depression and anxiety.
Do I really want to go that route?
Before the end of the school year, I have the end of my grad class.
Overall, OK, but I have a big paper due that I've been procrastinating (what else is new).
It is already written in my head, just have to type it up.
Slap-in-the-face for poor time management.
It will be done, as they are always done.
Home front is fine.
(The "fine" is what worries my therapist- mentioned that I never say good/bad, but everything is "fine"..... Not sure if I can really define good/bad much anymore. Have just accepted "fine" as that status quo and I guess that I'm just used to it.)
No real movement on the house rehab, although we had the gutters realigned and seasonal yard cleanup. David seems to have a plan, and I'm just letting him take charge of it.
The Egan house will be up for sale again. Spoke to the realtor, and the bank has fixed a handful of things. Price remains the same. Not officially posted yet, so we're waiting. We'll go and see. Not sure if I can handle a rather rural existence, even if the house is fantastic.
The Freeport house is still for sale- private sale. I think it is perfect, but really don't think I want to live where I work and I fear potential problems in the future. Also, I question my longevity at Freeport regardless where we are living. In-town is a waste if I am elsewhere; Out-of-town commute will eventually wear on me.
Trey is going through some hiccups again at school- behavior.
I think he is still working some kinks out, and it is going to take time. Sabrina is trying to get him to have some closure with his past, which may/may not be a cause. But I also think that some of his peers are not the best character examples, and Trey tends to be a follower, not a leader.
Really, no complaints...... he does well in school, he is active, and (I assume) he is pretty happy with his life here. Yes, he has to be (constantly) reminded of routines and expectations, but that is part of the life-learning curve, no?
Started going to church. David wanted us (rather Trey) to have some sort of spiritual connection, so he and I go to Good Shepard. I think we finally started going because I was feeling a rock-bottom personal status and I was searching for something. OK, but a bit boring- church routines and rituals. Everybody is nice. Not sure if I have the faith in me- I don't go up for communion.
Looking forward to getting the veggie garden going- have most of the plants, just need the time.
Summer is going to be busy- two grad classes; Disney in June; mini-road trip in July; Trey at Camp Winnebago (still have to sign him up).
Should probably go and see Dad again- maybe a weekend trip.
Lots to do around here.
Done.
Things to do.
Seems like another rough ending (but I have the position for next year).
One rough year of nine is not bad, and something I shared with admins after a "conversation" meeting at which it was stated that "you're not the same as you were two years ago", referring to how I have dealt with problematic issues. The school culture has changes and students are purposely mean and rude to adults and to other students. I really don't understand it- why students are behaving the way they are AND how everybody recognizes it, but there has not been any big initiative to change it (force a change).... My metaphor: You have strawberries and a kid allergic that keeps eating it- instead of dealing with the choices the kid makes, we are trying to change the strawberry.
Maybe I had a rose-colored nostalgic view.
Maybe going back was a mistake.
I am not going to let it ruin my career.
There is a position open in Byron.... hmmm.
I don't want to make another job change.
Nevertheless, I'm trying to just get through to the end- smiles, smiles, smiles- and curbing my reactions.
Last day for students, May 29.
For teachers, June 02.
Trey gets out the Friday after.
Biweekly therapy for a few months now.
Discussing medication- chronic depression and anxiety.
Do I really want to go that route?
Before the end of the school year, I have the end of my grad class.
Overall, OK, but I have a big paper due that I've been procrastinating (what else is new).
It is already written in my head, just have to type it up.
Slap-in-the-face for poor time management.
It will be done, as they are always done.
Home front is fine.
(The "fine" is what worries my therapist- mentioned that I never say good/bad, but everything is "fine"..... Not sure if I can really define good/bad much anymore. Have just accepted "fine" as that status quo and I guess that I'm just used to it.)
No real movement on the house rehab, although we had the gutters realigned and seasonal yard cleanup. David seems to have a plan, and I'm just letting him take charge of it.
The Egan house will be up for sale again. Spoke to the realtor, and the bank has fixed a handful of things. Price remains the same. Not officially posted yet, so we're waiting. We'll go and see. Not sure if I can handle a rather rural existence, even if the house is fantastic.
The Freeport house is still for sale- private sale. I think it is perfect, but really don't think I want to live where I work and I fear potential problems in the future. Also, I question my longevity at Freeport regardless where we are living. In-town is a waste if I am elsewhere; Out-of-town commute will eventually wear on me.
Trey is going through some hiccups again at school- behavior.
I think he is still working some kinks out, and it is going to take time. Sabrina is trying to get him to have some closure with his past, which may/may not be a cause. But I also think that some of his peers are not the best character examples, and Trey tends to be a follower, not a leader.
Really, no complaints...... he does well in school, he is active, and (I assume) he is pretty happy with his life here. Yes, he has to be (constantly) reminded of routines and expectations, but that is part of the life-learning curve, no?
Started going to church. David wanted us (rather Trey) to have some sort of spiritual connection, so he and I go to Good Shepard. I think we finally started going because I was feeling a rock-bottom personal status and I was searching for something. OK, but a bit boring- church routines and rituals. Everybody is nice. Not sure if I have the faith in me- I don't go up for communion.
Looking forward to getting the veggie garden going- have most of the plants, just need the time.
Summer is going to be busy- two grad classes; Disney in June; mini-road trip in July; Trey at Camp Winnebago (still have to sign him up).
Should probably go and see Dad again- maybe a weekend trip.
Lots to do around here.
Done.
Things to do.
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